How Did This Not Cause the End of the World?

I know, I know; I've been horrible about updating. I'm writing that book I've mentioned. But today a note came through my e-mail with the following message:

hey did you know this? i think this deserves an update to redsoxstatsguy

So I had to click the provided link and see what it was.

Now I regret it.

How did I not know this? How come no one seems to have known this? So now Jason Varitek is following in the esteemed footsteps of Rick Cerone, Rich Gedman, Carlton Fisk, and ... Tim McDouchebag?

I can't wrap my brain around this... please, someone, post comments below telling me I'm not the only one.