Sunday, June 03, 2007

I'm Retiring the Joe Morgan Schtick

For anyone who has followed this blog and my old website for a while, you know how much I hate Joe Morgan. The Joe Morgan tag doesn't tell the whole story; I just started tagging him 6 weeks ago. But today I've decided to hang up the megaphone.

It turns out other people have been doing this for years and are much better at it than I. I highly recommend that website. Some more good stories about Joe Morgan's unbelievable incompetence can be found here and here. And while we're at it, check out this anti-Tim McCarver site. I contributed some of the McCarverisms during the 2004 playoffs and World Series.

I've also given a lot of thought to the McCarver/Morgan: Who is Worse? debate today. I am leaning heavily towards Morgan. Joe Morgan does 2 major games per week, while McCarver does 1. Morgan also does an historically bad chat every week on a website that I frequent. I don't think McCarver does anything other than Fox broadcasts. Morgan is infuriatingly incompetent and refuses to accept any new methods of measuring success. His opinions fly in the face of everything baseball has learned over the past 20 years. He's the little old man sitting in a rocking chair on his porch yelling at the kids who are playing baseball in the street. He's stupid and irrelevent. Tim McCarver is just mind-bogglingly confusing and incompetent. Your typical reaction to a McCarverism is "Huh?" while you get downright pissed at virtually everything Morgan says.

Yes, I realize that Joe Morgan is one of the, if not the, greatest second basemen of all-time. Even Bill James thinks so. But Bill James says it best when he calls Morgan a "twit" and a "weenie." Actually, I could say it much better but I'm more mature than that. Really!

Anyway, I'm giving up on this quest to get Joe Morgan out of our lives. I'm afraid I'll go to the doctor's office one of these days and my doctor will tell me I have high blood pressure and ask me what stressors I have in my life. I'll reply, "You know, the typical: 3 year old, financial issues, job, Joe Morgan." The doctor will nod and say, "I understand. At least to the Joe Morgan thing. I'm a doctor in a private practice so I don't have financial issues and I don't really work much. But man, that Joe Morgan! When the hell are they going to fire that dumbass?!"

So I'm done stressing about Joe Morgan. I'll let the other guys do the stressing. And I'll just read what they say and nod in agreement.

1 comment:

Nathan said...

Who are you kidding? You will still stress about Joe Morgan. You just won't write about it.

That saves you the stress of reliving what pissed you off in the first place, but not from the overall sress:-D