Thursday, May 17, 2007

Julian Tavarez is Stupid, Possibly Insane*

Great post on Deadspin today about Julian Tavarez. Apparently Tavarez has never heard of Ernie Banks. Ernie Banks! Mr Cub! Let's play 2!

Tavarez is scheduled to pitch in the first game of today's doubleheader and he thinks he can pitch again on Monday. On two days rest. "If I have to pitch Monday, I'll pitch Monday, too," were the words that scared the crap out of Red Sox Nation. Julian, let me let you in on a little secret. We don't want you pitching every 5th day, let alone twice in four days. Please, for everyone's sake, get into a fight today and bitchslap someone again so we can move along with Jon Lester in our rotation.

Tavarez went on to jinx all of our hopes: "The main thing is staying healthy," Tavarez said. "You will see in October. We will be in the World Series if we stay healthy. We have everything we need out here. We have one of the best closers in baseball, good starting rotation, good bullpen, a hell of a lineup, 38,000 fans every single game. What else can you ask for? You can't ask for anything else." Great. Add bulletin board material for every team for the rest of the season, you jackass. Why don't you just come out and say Jim Leyland is a horrible manager and Magglio Ordonez has girly hair?

*The "Possibly Insane" part of my headline is just general knowledge. The article didn't mention much insanity; it's just presumed with Julian.

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