Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Another Joe Morgan Chat (For Real This Time)

This post marks my 100th post since moving from my old website to Blogger. And what better way to mark the anniversary than by mocking Joe Morgan? This chat is from this morning. Let’s get started. As always, my comments are in italics.

Lane (Kukuihaele, HI): Do you think the Yankees' position players really care about Roger Clemens not traveling with the team when he isn't pitching?
Joe Morgan: I can't answer that because I don't know what they think individually. I do not know if they want all that to happen. But they will always say the right thing.

Then why in the world did you choose this question to answer? The guy isn’t asking for facts; just your opinion. That’s what you’re here for.

Brian (Champaign, IL): What are your thoughts on the quick starts of the Cubs free agent pitching signings, Lilly and Marquis? Will they go on to have strong seasons, or will they wilt this summer as the bats heat up and the wind blows out at Wrigley?
Joe Morgan: Well that is hard to predict. Lilly does allot you to get the ball in the air. But so far they have done well. The Cubs should be better with all the money they have spent, and I think they are.

Another infuriating comment about the Cubs and how their free spending should equal success. All you need to do is look at the Yankees to see that spending a ton of money does not guarantee success. Of course the Yankees define success as a World Series title, but it still applies. Still no insight from Joe.

Muggsi (Newport, Rhode Island): Hi Joe, please answer a Tigers question for me. I'm curious about the work that Lloyd McClendon is doing with Curtis Granderson. He's not striking out as much (for now), and he seems to be a little more patient. But he always seems to be in 0-2 counts. Should this be addressed, and if so, will he become a better hitter because of it? Thanks for your response.
Joe Morgan: He will be a better hitter with patience and and once he learns how to handle pitch counts. You do not want to be 0-2. I talked to him last season and he is a very smart player, and I think he will be a very good player. I think McClendon can really help him if they work together.

“You do not want to be down 0-2.” Wow. Brilliant. Maybe these chatters should be sending these messages to guys like Rob Neyer or Buster Olney; guys who know baseball and stats.

Chad, MN: Hello Joe, I've been a huge Braves fan since 1983. My hopes are high for the playoffs this year. What do you think?
Joe Morgan: Well I think the Braves are back and they will be a factor in the East and in the Wild Card. I think you should be optimistic.

The Braves are back and will be a factor! Good analysis, Joe.

Paddy (St. Louis, MO): Joe, How do you and other veterans feel about the armor that a soon to be record holder wears on his elbow? I would like to have seen the numbers Mays and Frank Robinson would have put up wearing a shin guard on their elbow and standing on the plate.
Joe Morgan: Well you cannot compare anything anymore anyway. I would have loved to see what thoose guys would have done with the smaller ball parks and livelier baseballs. But Barry is not the only one who wears armor. It is what it is. It is a different game today.

This is probably the smartest thing he’s ever said. Although you can compare players, as proven by guys like Bill James and Rob Neyer, things are completely different. And I don’t think guys like Hank Aaron worried too much about being plunked. The body armor doesn’t affect their hitting; it just helps them avoid injury.

Chris (NY,NY): Hey Joe!! Big fan!! I love when you say "slidepiece"!!! ANyway, what do you think about Clemens? I think he's gonig to get shelled in the AL. And I can't wait! Looking forward to a summer of him watching Ortiz balls fly out of the park
Joe Morgan: I don't think he will get shelled. He is a good pitcher and I think he will pitch well. If he felt that he was not rerady, he would not have comeback this early. I think he will do well. Besides the Yankees will score five or six runs a game for him.

I didn’t know Joe Morgan had any fans. And what’s this “slidepiece” he refers to? Someone comment it here if you know. And again with Joe and his opinions with nothing to back them up. And of course Clemens would come back this early; he was offered $28 million to!

Al (San Francisco): What trades, if any, do you see the Mets making this summer?
Joe Morgan: I mean they need starting pitching because even their best pitchers are towards the end of their careers. You always need some pitching. But I cannot say who they will get.

Why does Joe choose these questions to answer if he can’t even speculate? Maybe because he barely has anyone sending him questions?

Brad(NM): Do you think run production was the difference maker between choosing NY over Houston?
Joe Morgan: No I think the fact that Houston does not look like they have a chance to win the division played in the decision, and the fact that New York is still New York. Also don't discount the amount of money New York gave him.

Yes, Joe! Yes! Well done.

JP (OC, CA): Joe, What do you think about the current Dodgers lineup, and do you think they need to add a big bat to be a contender this year?
Joe Morgan: Well everyone can use an extra bat or pitcher. But in the West I think the Dodgers have the best chance of winning because I like their mixture of veterans and young players. But everyone needs another bat and everyone needs another pitcher right now.

Another comment about everyone needing pitching. And this time he added in the fact that everyone needs another bat. So if everyone needs another bat and another pitcher, doesn’t that negate everyone else’s needs? So no one needs anything? My head hurts.

Corey ((san diego)): Joe Please answer, what do the padres need to do to win the division against the much favored dodgers
Joe Morgan: Well they are in the same situations as the Dodgers, they need another the bat and they need Maddux and Wells to hold up over the course of the season. The Padres need another bat.

So what you’re saying then is that they don’t need anything?

Joseph Feldstein (Stamford, CT): Behind Glavine, Maine, Perez, and Pelfrey who should be that 5th starter until Pedro returns?
Joe Morgan: I really like Maine and I think he will be a very good pitcher. I think the Mets are going to win the East.

No, Joe, I don’t think you read the question. See, he listed 4 starters and asked you who should be the 5th. You can’t name one of the 4 that he listed. Joe must have been getting tired; this is near the end of the chat.

Alon (Brooklyn): Do you see MLB bringing in instant replay in after all the botched calls so far?
Joe Morgan: I would only want to see it used on home runs, whether a ball was fair or foul or over the line or not. Other than that I do not want to see instant replay because you would have to review too many plays, and we would have four hour games instead of the three hour 59 minute ones.

Wait, was that a joke from Joe there? Was that funny? I say no.

As always, this was a fun little exercise. I’d like to post an entry soon where I answer your questions like I’m Joe Morgan. Post some questions in the comments or e-mail me at redsoxstatsguy@gmail.com.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Stat Guy,

If the Red Sox have 3 bats, and the Dodgers have 1, how many starting pitchers would the Devil Rays need to contend in the N.L. West? (Thought this would be the kind of question Joe could answer)